✙ hermit protocol

Hermit life and behaviour can sometimes seem to be a little bit strange, or sometimes even outright baffling. Here are a few pointers to understand it better. 

preferably no small talk

Traditional hermits are called to live in as much silence as possible, both inwardly and outwardly. Among other things, this means that traditional hermits are trying to talk (and think) as little as possible, especially in regard to what you could call the automatic type of thinking and talking.

Therefore, I will always try to prevent idly chitchatting - though social protocol, old habits, and unexpected social encounters can sometimes make that very difficult.

you rarely see them

Traditional hermits are obliged to stay as much as possible in silence and seclusion within their cell, protected from distractions. Therefore, traditional hermits will remain in their cel or hermitage as much as possible and only venture out when it is necessary and unavoidable.

they often act against established social protocol

Because traditional hermits are obliged to live as much as possible in silence and seclusion, most traditional hermits will - seemingly against established social protocol - refuse to be drawn into chitchat or a worldly conversation. This means they can stay awkwardly silent, say too little for comfort, or unexpectedly end or silently walk away from a conversation.

For the same reasons, hermits are very likely to decline your invitation for coffee or dinner, no matter how well-timed and well-intentioned your invitation was extended. In fact, they might not even be willing to enter someone else’s house.

Though this may all seem to be unsocial or even offensive at first glance, often it is not a matter of bad manners but only to remain faithful to the hermit rules and way of life.

and for me in particular...

don’t treat me with deference

  • Whatever you do, please do not treat me with deference and/or put me on a pedestal. It’s not healthy for either of us, and it’s certainly not helpful for me to achieve my goals as a hermit. Jesus called upon us to treat each other as brothers and sisters, with God (+) as our common Father. And He specifically warned us to refrain from letting ourselves be treated or called any better. Because in the final analysis: we are all sinners, we all struggle in life, and we certainly all fall short in how God (+) would like us to be. Therefore, I prefer it when we treat each other as in a real-life family: with a brotherly (sisterly) loving care, and with the respect of an equal. I will try to treat you the same and I will certainly not accept it if you try to put me in a position of authority. I’m not worth it, and - probably - neither are you.

 

"I will certainly not accept it if you try to put me in a position of authority. I’m not worth it, and - probably - neither are you"

 

first ask what’s needed before you help me

  • If you want to help me, then say so personally and inquire about what it is that I currently need the most. Most of the time I will say that nothing is needed. And at other times I will tell you honestly what is needed most. Because as a traditional hermit I can only ask you for - and accept from you what - is needed then and there, and no more or different. Therefore, I might very well refuse (or quickly give away) all or most of what you bring me unasked for. Why? Because at the moment you bring it, it’s just not needed. This is not a personal insult to you nor out of sloppy manners, but out of discipline and out of dedication to the well-established and thousands year old hermit tradition.

the best help that is always welcome: donate, but only if and when you can do so without denying yourself anything

  • A donation is not something I expect of you in return for helping you in your religious (prayer) life, neither do I expect it in return for my intercessory prayer for you, nor for my blessing. In fact, I don’t expect you to help me at all as it is God (+) I’m relying on. If He helps me through you: great. If He helps me through others and/or in other ways: even better. And if He doesn’t help me yet… then He will do so soon. As He - looking back on my life - has always done. Sometimes sooner, sometimes later, but never forgotten. Nonetheless, my active income as a hermit is limited at best (find out why on this page). Therefore any financial support you can provide will always be very welcome. You can find all the necessary information on the homepage.

no meat, alcohol, pies, cookies, etcetera

  • Please remember: as a traditional hermit I don’t eat meat (unless seriously ill, and sometimes I do eat some chicken for the proteine). And I don’t drink alcohol. In general, I try to not eat too much, and I’m in a constant struggle to get rid of all not-necessary stuff. So, please: do not give me any kind of present that I didn't ask for because I will probably not need it. And certainly do not bring me (for example) meat, whipped cream, alcohol, food prepared in butter sauce, pies, cookies, and all other sorts of not-hermit-compatible food or unnecessary gifts. I know it's well intentioned, but when it comes to these things I would rather not get tempted too much, or buy them myself so I can keep these things under control.

don’t invite me for social reasons only

  • As a traditional hermit I'm - by definition - called to live a life in seclusion, silence, and solitude. Therefore, please, do not invite me to your house for mere social reasons. You are (really) not doing me a favour, but are only asking me as a hermit to do the impossible and the improper as I chosen to also live under the rule not to enter someone else’s house unless religious reasons make this unavoidable and necessary.