✙ my current life

Christian vocations in general

As Christians we are all called to follow Christ and keep His commandments as much as we can.

How? Through prayer, self-observation, introspection, study, lots of practice, and with constant failures along the way.

Against that background, the best division I can make between the different paths (vocations) of a married or unmarried Christian, a priest, a monk or nun, a hermit, and a fool-for-Christ is this:

• married and unmarried Christians in general are called to live a life fully immersed in worldly affairs
• priests are called to live their life in between their flock
• monks and nuns are called to live in between their monastic brothers and sisters
• hermits are called to live as much as possible outside society in a deliberate seclusion, silence, and solitude
• and so-called 'fools for Christ’ are called to live a life that willingly and instrumentally flouts all or most social conventions, in order to serve a clearly stated personal and/or interpersonal religious goal

Often people wrongly think that one vocation is better than the other. However, as an old Desert Father (hermit Nistero the Great) phrased it more correctly: “Not all works people do are the same. Scripture tells us that Abraham was given to charity, and God was with him; Elijah sought silence and God was with him; David was humbled, and God was with him."

Therefore, none of these vocations is higher or more advanced than the other. Nonetheless, this kind of class distinction is still very much present in our current day Church. Which is strange, because if I’m well informed then the classification of one vocation as ‘higher' than another can ultimately be traced back to the treatise written by Joachim of Fiore (a Cistercian abbott in Calabria at the end of the 11th century AD) with the title De Unitate Trinitatis or On the Unity of the Trinity, in which he makes a distinction between the married state, the ordained state (priests and bishops), and the monastic state (monks and nuns), with the first state being the ‘lowest’ and the third state (his own) being the ‘highest’. However, this treatise, and later his views more generally, were condemned and reproved at the Fourth Lateran Council.

Personally I think, in light of Jesus’ example and His teachings, and given the condemnation of Joachim of Fiore’s books and views as discussed above, that the only knowledgable thing one can say about all these different Christian vocations in life, is that none of these paths is easy. In fact: they often partly overlap, and they all have their own battles, difficulties, and advantages. The only thing we can be certain of is that God will call each and every one of us to the path and the vocation that at any one time is the most suitable for us within the context of His (+) plan. If and when we try to discern, accept, and answer that calling and sincerely try to live it, then each vocation - and so in fact: each individual life - over time becomes its own specialisation in obtaining eternal life before God (+). And then, the more you progress and the more you become perfected in Christ (or claim to be), the more this should be seen in your attitude of truthfully interacting with others as equals and of being willing to serve and stoop down to them (instead of them serving and bowing to you). Because that is the change of heart Jesus cares about, not who you are in this world's pecking order nor when or how your change of heart happens.

 

“Not all works people do are the same. Scripture tells us that Abraham was given to charity, and God was with him; Elijah sought silence and God was with him; David was humbled, and God was with him."

 

the vocation of a hermit in general

The traditional hermit’s path is to live a life in deliberate seclusion, inner and outer silence, and solitude in order to prioritise praying (mainly continuous prayer, interspersed with other forms of silent prayer like meditation and contemplation), study, and introspection (a.k.a. watchfulness) above all else, even at the expense of his (or her) worldly income, social status, and security.

Of all these aspects, inner-silence (stillness) and introspection (watchfulness) are the two most important qualities for the spiritual progress and growth of a traditional hermit. And - in fact - this is true for all paths and vocations (though for most vocations it’s often far less practical to realise). Why are these two qualities so important? Because stillness and watchfulness are fundamental for growing in self-knowledge, and then also for successfully getting rid of all the lesser parts of our old-self in a process called self-emptying. And it’s only through increasingly self-emptying that we can grow in true humility, unconditional love, and forgiveness of all.

Because of its particular focus on stillness and introspection, a hermit’s life is traditionally described as 'a life of watchful stillness’, and as 'the path of spiritual knowledge’, because attaining inner-silence (stillness) and introspection (watchfulness) are a traditional hermit's primary - instead of secondary -goals in life, at the expense of everything else. Therefore, in reference to the beginning of this page, the vocation of a hermit could be seen as a call to become a specialist in self-knowledge and self-emptying through inner-silence, through various forms of silent prayer, and through continuous watchfulness. Still, paraphrasing the above quotation of Nistero the Great, it’s just one path among many.

And as with all vocations: following Christ and trying to keep His commandments is - unfortunately - very much a vocational training in the so-called ’university of hard knocks’ for all of us no matter your personal vocation. Over the first six years as a hermit, I’ve come to understand that this vocational training is more like a never ending road to travel, than a single ultimate goal to obtain. Therefore, it is more about acquiring an attitude of balanced dependence and submission to God (+), than to 'boldly go where no one has gone before’. It was within this context that the Desert Fathers and Mothers advised the so-called ‘middle-way’ of not doing too much, neither doing too little, nor doing it too early, nor too late. Which, obviously, is all easier said than done.

my personal vocation in particular

In addition to the above in general, I've gradually discerned with the help and guidance of my spiritual director (a priest) - and later also written down, explained, and placed within the catholic tradition in my Ratio Vivendi (*) - the possibility of not only falling into the category of traditional hermitism, but also partly and maybe even wholly in that of so-called ‘fools for Christ’. The reason for this being the circumstances of my calling and vocation.

(* a Ratio Vivendi is an official written document stating the hermit's life plan. It contains i.a. the hermit’s past, his (or her) calling, the discernment process that followed, and the hermit’s proposed new way of life)

As there is no clear-cut nor standardised type of life for so-called fools for Christ (as the different forms and intensities of foolishness lead to highly individualised and often misunderstood or even ostracised lives), I will for clarity's sake remain focused only on the aspects of my current life that fit the traditional hermit's life.

For all other aspects, I refer you - for the time being - to the wikipedia page about fools for Christ mentioned above. Partly because - I must admit - I'm still resisting quite strongly falling into this category of fools for Christ, as it still is far too extreme for the tastes and proclivity of my worldly old-self. 

my daily schedule

In line with the well-established hermit tradition of the Desert Fathers and Mothers, my daily schedule normally stays within the standard averages for a traditional hermit’s life shown below:

• contemplative, meditative, and continuous prayer. If you add to those types of prayer the daily psalms (liturgy of the hours, also known as the Divine Office) and other standard vocal prayers, then (excluding continuous prayer) a traditional hermit devotes between 5 and 8 hours per day on prayer.

The remaining hours are for:

• studying theology both in practice and theory: between 3 and 4 hours per day
• shower, cook, eat, and other daily household chores: between 1 and 2 hours per day
• working for the minimum necessary income (or when explicitly asked - see here - these working hours will be sacrificed in order to help others with their religious questions or struggles and in their prayer life): the remaining hours of the day (normally about 2 to 4 hours daily, mostly depending on the time spent in prayer that almost always will get precedent in a hermit’s life, as for a hermit obtaining any income must only remain a secondary or preferably even lower priority in life)
• leisure: only when needed, plus the Sunday’s
• sleeping: the necessary hours - between 6 to 8 hours per day.

As a contemporary Maronite hermit phrased his own experiences living according to this type of schedule:

"The hermit should be occupied all day with prayer and spiritual reading. According to the Rule of St. Antony he is allowed only small breaks. Every day is difficult. It is the same for all hermits. As you get closer to God your enemy attacks you more. At first [hermits] feel lonely and depressed. But after that there is the indescribable joy of feeling the presence of the Lord.”

(shortened citation taken from William Dalrymple’s travelbook ‘From the Holy Mountain – a Journey in the Shadows of Byzantium’ - entry for ‘Bsharre, 5 October’).

So… why would anyone want to live such a life? You can find out my personal answer - not only for the hermit’s life, but also for everybody else who tries to honestly live according to God’s calling with all its particular ups and downs - on the next page.