✙ vocation and daily schedule

Christian vocations in general

As Christians we are all called to follow Christ as much as we can. We do this (using apostle Paul’s words in i.a. his letter to the Colossians) through fighting our old fallen-self and this old fallen-world we live in. Trying to become a better and more Christlike version of ourselves. How? Through prayer, self-observation, introspection, study, lots of practice, and with constant failures along the way.

Against that background the best division I can make between the different paths (vocations) of a married or unmarried Christian in general, a priest, a monk or nun, and a hermit, is this: a married or unmarried Christian in general is called to live a life fully immersed in worldly affairs, a priest is called to live his life in between his flock, monks and nuns are called to live in between their other brothers and sisters, and a hermit is called to live as much as possible outside society in a deliberate seclusion, silence, and solitude. As an old Desert Father (hermit Nistero the Great) phrased it: “Not all works people do are the same. Scripture tells us that Abraham was given to charity, and God was with him; Elijah sought silence and God was with him; David was humbled, and God was with him."

None of these paths is easy. In fact: they all have their own battles, difficulties, and advantages.

 

“Not all works people do are the same. Scripture tells us that Abraham was given to charity, and God was with him; Elijah sought silence and God was with him; David was humbled, and God was with him."

 

my vocation

Given the circumstances of my calling and vocation I’ve discussed and foreseen with my spiritual director (a priest) from the very beginning - and written down in my Ratio Vivendi (*) - the possibility of falling into the category of ‘fools for God’, a rare sub-category of traditional hermitism. Nonetheless, for the time being I will focus here on this website mainly on the more mainstream aspects of my calling to the traditional hermit life, because - as you can read on this wikipedia page - the distinction between a mainstream traditional hermit and/or a so-called 'fool for God' is not so easy to draw.

The traditional hermit’s path is to live his or her life in deliberate seclusion, inner and outer silence, and solitude in order to prioritise praying, study, and introspection above all else at the expense of his (or her) worldly income, social status, and security. Of these, inner-silence (stillness) is the most important aspect. The other aspects (seclusion, outer silence, and solitude) are helpful to accomplish that inner-silence, especially for beginning and intermediate hermits who - like me - still have difficulty maintaining full stillness while being among others and/or when outside of their hermitage.

Though these four aspects of a traditional hermit’s life are often seen as indications of holiness, they are in fact nothing but tools to an end. To paraphrase and extend on how one of the Desert Fathers saw this: silence, seclusion, and solitude - just like fasts and vigils, the study of Scripture, renouncing possessions and everything worldly - are not in themselves perfection. They are tools. For perfection is not to be found in them, but it is acquired through them.

This is why a hermit’s life is traditionally described as 'a life of watchful stillness’, and as 'the path of spiritual knowledge’.

(* a hermit’s Ratio Vivendi is an official written document stating the hermit's life plan. It contains i.a. the hermit’s past, his (or her) calling, the discernment process that followed, and the hermit’s proposed new way of life)

daily schedule

In line with the well-established hermit tradition of the Desert Fathers, my daily schedule normally stays within the standard averages for a traditional hermit’s life shown below:

  • prayer: a traditional hermit’s prayer life consists mainly of contemplative, meditative, and continuous prayer. If you add to those types of prayer the daily psalms (liturgy of the hours, also known as the Divine Office) and other standard vocal prayers, then (excluding continuous prayer) a traditional hermit devotes between 5 and 8 hours per day on prayer.

The remaining hours are for:

  • studying theology both in practice and theory: between 3 and 4 hours per day
  • shower, cook, eat, and other daily household chores: between 1 and 2 hours per day
  • sleeping: the necessary hours - between 6 to 8 hours per day
  • working for an income (or when explicitly asked: helping others in their (prayer) life and/or with their religious questions): the remaining hours
  • leisure: only when needed, plus the Sunday’s.

As a contemporary Maronite hermit phrased his own experiences living this type of life:

"The hermit should be occupied all day with prayer and spiritual reading. According to the Rule of St. Antony he is allowed only small breaks. Every day is difficult. It is the same for all hermits. As you get closer to God your enemy attacks you more. At first [hermits] feel lonely and depressed. But after that there is the indescribable joy of feeling the presence of the Lord.”

(shortened citation taken from William Dalrymple’s travelbook ‘From the Holy Mountain – a Journey in the Shadows of Byzantium’ - entry for ‘Bsharre, 5 October’).

 

"The hermit should be occupied all day with prayer and spiritual reading. According to the Rule of St. Antony he is allowed only small breaks"

 

so… why?

The honest and most simple answer to that question is: God's calling.

And I think a more theoretical and theological comprehensive answer might be this:

As the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) states in par. 405: “Baptism, (…) erases original sin and turns a man back toward God, but the consequences for nature, weakened and inclined to evil, persist in man and summon him to spiritual battle.”

So… what does that actually mean?

This means that even though baptism can erase original sin, it cannot and will not restore in us the peace and grace of original holiness that Adam and Eve lost as a consequence of their fall from paradise (see CCC par. 399 - 404). Therefore, all of us (baptised or not) are still faced with an inevitable spiritual battle during our life here on earth. As Saint Thomas Aquinas phrased it: “[after baptism] there still remains the inclination to sin that assails us from within, and also the flesh and the devil which assail us from without”. These battles are forced upon us, whether we like it or not. But using our God-given free will, we can either decide to try and tackle them head-on, or run away.

Unfortunately, lacking clear and experienced real-life guidance, most of us end up doing a little bit of both and often end up mistakenly incorporating buddhist and other types of meditation or mindfulness techniques to our Christian spiritual armoury. Mistakenly, because the same - but God (+) centred and therefore more effective (and safer) - techniques have already existed as prayer methods both in the ancient Jewish and later Christian traditions from the very beginning. In the era of the Desert Fathers the general practice, intens study, and therefore the understanding and efficacy of these prayer techniques reached its peak.

Though these prayer techniques (Christian meditation, contemplation, and watchfulness) since then slowly became diluted, less central, and therefore ever less practised within the mainstream churches of today, traditional hermits (especially so within the orthodox tradition) have always remained predominantly focused on the original, undiluted, forms of these prayer techniques as practised by the Desert Fathers.

 

"This means that even though baptism can erase original sin, it cannot and will not restore in us the peace and grace of original holiness that Adam and Eve lost as a consequence of their fall from paradise. Therefore, all of us (baptised or not) are still faced with an inevitable spiritual battle during our life here on earth. As Saint Thomas Aquinas phrased it: “[after baptism]there still remains the inclination to sin that assails us from within, and also the flesh and the devil which assail us from without”. These battles are forced upon us, whether we like it or not. But using our God-given free will, we can either decide to try and tackle them head-on, or run away"

 

With the help of these more effective prayer techniques, according to (i.a.) the Desert Fathers’ experiences and writings, the outcome of our personal and daily spiritual battle, when fought deliberately, focused, and well-guided, can in some cases effect God to restore through His (+) grace the peace and original God-centred innocent obedience to God’s will from before the Fall. This battled for (but eventually only God-given) grace of restored original holiness is often referred to as theosis, which is a somewhat exalted word for the very real, direct, and God-given grace of getting to know God (+) through one or more direct personal experiences. This is what the orthodox tradition describes as ‘real theology’, and it is also the threshold and gateway to perfection within our lifetime here on earth.

At its best this spiritual - and very real - daily battle for perfection will lead us first to a stable state of dispassion. And then - who knows - towards a stable state of theosis already during our lifetime. Though successfully reaching - let alone: permanently maintaining - such a state of perfection is in itself not necessary to be granted eternal life after we die, it is nonetheless the goal each Christian should ideally strive for during his or her earthly life. Why?  Because God (+) created us in His own image - i.e. holy - before the Fall, and now - after the Fall - He (+) still wants us to become holy again as He is Holy (see i.a. under the Old Testament Lev. 19:2 and in the New Testament Matthew 5:48).

 

"Though these prayer techniques (Christian meditation, contemplation, and watchfulness) after the era of the Desert Fathers slowly became diluted, less central, and therefore ever less practised within the mainstream churches of today, traditional hermits (especially so within the orthodox tradition) have always remained predominantly focused on the original, undiluted, forms of these prayer techniques as practised by the Desert Fathers"

 

Unfortunately, the road to perfection is not easy nor is it a one way street. For there are many ups and downs, setbacks, and pitfalls along the spiritual path. So, when we find ourselves placed before such a supernatural battle and goal, we cannot ignore 2000 years of history. And that history shows us that this spiritual battle is a very uneven fight indeed that resembles asymmetric warfare when seen from our individual human perspective. And if that is not yet enough to humble us, then it’s good to remember - as many Desert Fathers already rightly foresaw - that in our present time and in the coming generations there will almost be no one anymore who will successfully reach the threshold of Christian perfection - let alone maintain God’s consequential grace of restored holiness - during his or her remaining lifetime here on earth. This means that the most of us will have to fight our personal spiritual battle without the help and guidance of real life spirit-bearing (i.e. deified) elders who can see directly into our souls and who could teach us from their own personal experience. Without this experienced hands-on help, winning the - unavoidable - spiritual battle during our lifetime becomes even harder to accomplish.

 

"Though successfully reaching - let alone: permanently maintaining - such a state of perfection is in itself not necessary to be granted eternal life after we die, it is nonetheless the goal each Christian should ideally strive for during his or her earthly life"

 

But is this battle winnable, and its ultimate goal still attainable? Yes, it is.

How? By maintaining a dynamic balance between doing our own very best within our life (through the various types of prayer with a focus on traditional Christian meditation, contemplation, and watchfulness, in combination with unflinching self-observation, honest introspection, study, lots of practice, and with constant failures along the way), while at the same time entrusting ourselves fully to God’s (+) divine will and providence.

Or as apostle Paul phrased it more succinctly: by fighting the good fight while aiming to finish the race and keep the faith (2 Timothy 4:7).

Nothing more. Nothing less.

And this is also why I will always appreciate to receive your feedback. Especially - in the spirit of psalm 141:5 - when it is critical or even downright negative. For your honest feedback will help me become a better person, it will help me grow as a hermit, and it will enable me to apologise and make amends to you whenever you may have felt offended because of me.