Seven years waiting for the Church...

After seven years waiting, enough was enough. So I stepped back from trying to build my life as a diocesan hermit within the formal structures of our institutional Church.

…back to the world...

Not entirely. As my calling to the traditional hermit life remains unchanged, with or without institutional backing, I will continue to live my hermit’s life and calling by devoting maximum focus, time, and opportunities to growing in theology through prayer, study, and practice. However, from now on I will do so as a hidden hermit: outside the institutional Church.

Transitioning to an independent life outside of the formal institutions of our Church means I must now prioritise financial self-sufficiency. To cover my living expenses, housing costs, health care, and future retirement, I need to focus far more hours on earning a truly sustainable income again.

This means that far more of my time must now be dedicated to building this new financial and self-sufficient foundation. Therefore, my time will become more limited. As a result, I am no longer able to provide the Christian education and knowhow I previously offered, as my excess time and focus must now pivot entirely toward realising my own financial stability.

…the church doesn’t help you then...

To put it plainly, institutional support was almost nonexistent. For seven years, I navigated a cycle of delays, shifting responsibilities, and non-compatible ulterior motives from various formal Church representatives, all the while drawing down my personal savings. This recurring lack of clarity, clear direction, and straightforward support made it impossible to build a traditional, stable, and effective hermit life within the institutional Church, forcing me to look elsewhere.

…if the Church doesn’t help, what about others...

For seven years, I dedicated myself to providing free instruction, counsel, and strategic advice to both priests and laypeople alike. I modeled this high volume of pro Deo support on the ancient tradition of the Desert Fathers and Mothers, who offered spiritual wisdom freely while relying on the mutual kindness and practical backing of the community they served.

While it was a privilege to see positive short- and long-term results from my efforts (for an indication: see the comments and commentaries) reviving this old-fashioned way of life in our current era proved unsustainable in our modern context, leaving me without a commensurate institutional and community financial backing.

With only a few rare exceptions—including two instances where I chose to decline sizeable help due to the donors' own limited means—this lack of commensurate institutional and community financial support meant that continuing to offer my extensive services was, after seven years, no longer financially viable.

…seriously: you are surprised by that...

No, you are right, I am not surprised by that. I knew—and was warned (even by various formal Church representatives, multiple priests and various monks alike)—from day one that our modern church institutions mostly lack straightforward honesty and loving kindness. My hermit life began forewarned and with open eyes.

However, having accepted a calling to the hermit life, I needed personal proof before walking away. I had to experience this dysfunctional reality firsthand to justify stepping outside of it. Now that I’ve stepped outside and away from it, my path is still firmly rooted within the mystical Church of Christ's body and the Roman Catholic sacraments, but will remain entirely outside the institutional structure of our Church and her formal representatives. 

So, no, I am not surprised. Seven years later, everything unfolded not as hoped, but exactly as expected and forewarned from the very start. It is as the Desert Fathers prophesied for our present day—and I found out they were right about it.

…and now what...

Well, the old days are gone; we live in a new modern era. The Desert Fathers would say we are now witnessing the beginning of the end of times. And given the reality of these past seven years, I am no longer looking backward. I am adapting to this age exactly as they foretold and advised us.

Therefore, I have chosen to set out on my own. I will live my calling, but from now on as a hidden hermit outside the formal institutions of our Church. Nonetheless, my whole life remains sacrificed to search, find, and live with God (+) in unison with the Roman Catholic sacraments—but in all other aspects, it will be lived entirely outside the institutional Church and independent of her formal representatives.

…good for you...

Yes. I can finally stop draining my savings and start truly building my life around my calling. But because I cannot and will not compromise on my rigorous hermit schedule of prayer, study, and practice, there is simply no time—or financial room—to also keep giving away my practical knowledge for free. Modern society is not built to support the offerings and demands of a traditional hermit life. Therefore, I have no choice but to strictly limit the hours I spend offering worldly advice, proposing effective solutions, and teaching practical prayer techniques like watchfulness, meditation, contemplation, and self-emptying.

While it is unfortunate to restrict this free access, there are simply not enough hours in the day. I cannot maintain a full hermit schedule, work to remain completely self-sufficient, and offer the intensive guidance to others on realising these practical solutions and learning these practical prayer techniques for free.

Therefore, I have two choices. I can completely withhold my knowledge—which is the historical default option for a traditional hermit—or I can invoice people for my time and expertise.

For now, invoicing for my time is the path I’ve chosen. Because it forces people to self-select, ensuring my time is given only to those who truly need it. And in doing so, this boundary either recovers my lost hours of income when still helping others, or it preserves the silence and solitude necessary for my hermit life.

Either way, this outcome aligns with ancient Desert Father tradition, but updated for a modern era. I am simply swapping the traditional student-servants and lay donations of the old days for a modern invoice, drawn up in full conformity with modern Church guidelines on this issue.

Though this solution is certainly not my personal preference, seven years of giving away everything for free has proven it to be an unavoidable modern adaptation for sustaining a traditional hermit's life. It is the only way to prevent being forced back into a worldly life that is completely incommensurate with my calling to live a traditional hermit's life.

…sounds fair enough, but what if someone really seriously needs your help...

First, to be clear: a traditional hermit life requires the maximum achievable seclusion and isolation. It is inherently incompatible with being accessible to everyone at all times—a compromise I nevertheless made over the last seven years, as I was waiting for the institutional Church to either accept my plan - or come with a plan of their own - that would be beneficial to both the Church, the sheep, and my hermit life.

However, because I am now no longer waiting for the institutional Church I can no longer keep offering that same compromise. Therefore, I am now redirecting the people seeking answers to their religious questions and struggles to look where God intended them to find an open door: the institutional Church, of which I am no longer a formal representative.

This is exactly as it should be. The formal representatives of our institutional Church—bishops, priests, monks, nuns, and diocesan hermits—are the ones who claim a Church-validated, divine calling to shepherd and protect God's flock. Subsequently, they are specifically trained, ordained, and funded by the institutional Church for this exact purpose. By their own admission, they are Christ’s only personal representatives on Earth, chosen to shepherd, embody, and spread His loving kindness and wisdom. In other words: they should always be the first port of call for our spiritual and practical Christian needs. And every believer is fully entitled to expect them to listen and help with the Christlike wisdom, practicality, hospitality, and generosity of a true and Church appointed shepherd.

…but if some of Christ's sheep remain lost nonetheless…

I find it hard to believe that such a thing is possible. But if—despite the absolute moral standards demanded by paragraphs 950–953, 2401–2404, 2443–2463 of the Church’s own Catechism—the institutional Church and her formal representatives leave someone unexpectedly helpless, I will not leave them an orphan.

If that happens, anyone remains free to use the contact form at the bottom of this page. I will be there for them.

Most importantly, and in strict keeping with paragraphs 2121–2122 of that same Catechism, I will always support them through my intercessory prayers and blessings. These I will always provide freely and generously to everyone. Because the power of prayer and blessings comes solely from God (+), any gratitude for this is strictly due to Him (+) alone.

However, if someone requires me to share my practical knowledge, offer strategic advice, or provide intensive practical guidance in prayer techniques like watchfulness, meditation, contemplation, and self-emptying, they must understand that a new boundary is in place. In accordance with current Church guidelines on these matters, I will from now on invoice for the time invested in helping them with these practicalities.

The reasons for this are simple:

First, after seven years, it is undeniable clear that I am not funded nor helped in any way by the institutional Church's accumulated wealth, tithes, or collections. Second, as scripture states, the worker is nonetheless worthy of his wages (Luke 10:7). Third, we live in a modern era where my time must directly fund my self-sufficiency outside of the institutional Church. This means that every hour spent solving someone else's problem, from now equals an hour taken away from earning my own basic living income, as I am not going to sacrifice my maximum focus, time, and opportunities to grow in theology through prayer, study, and practice. According to the instructions of the Desert Fathers and Mothers, especially for our current era, this should always take precedence over anything else.

Furthermore, in our current era we no longer live in a time where misfortune immediately equals total destitution. In our modern Western world, social safety nets mean most people still retain disposable income for free spending choices. If Christ’s own ordained representatives don't provide the answers you need, then the real-world experience and practical knowledge gained from my hermit life possess real value. In which case it is worth a small contribution of your own resources to help me sustain my traditional hermit life and continue my rigorous hermit's schedule of prayer, study, and practice in accordance with my calling. Thereby helping me grow both in capability and financial means to help others too.

…you’re right, but if someone - apart from your prayer or your blessing - also asks for your practical knowhow but cannot recompense you for your time invested teaching them…

If that occurs, and after someone has first sought help from the institutional Church without success, I will always make a vital exception for them.

Traditional charity requires discerning truth. If you are genuinely unable to contribute to fund my hermit’s life due to true poverty, then you are always welcome to submit documentation of your financial situation, such as your recent tax assessments.

If those records confirm your genuine need, I will always fully, wholeheartedly, and in the spirit of ancient tradition dedicate my time to your guidance absolutely free of charge. I will freely and lovingly share every piece of worldly advice, practical solution, and essential prayer technique you require, within the absolute limits that my traditional hermit schedule permits.

So... in the face of true need, my door will always remain wide open for you, for free.

Your brother in Christ, bartholomew.